Greetings, Friendlies!
I was recently (re)introduced to a little practice in the vast sphere of Wise Communication (sammā-vācā) maybe worth sharing:
If wise communication involves an openness, a willingness to hear and to understand, then the exercise is to notice the times when I am not able to do that. When I close off, when my tone or body language change. And then, rather than reprimanding myself or feeling bad about it, turn up the curiosity and examine: What are the conditions that led to this change?
Usually my communication focus is solely on maintaining openness. If there is closing off, I notice the closing, then try to relax, release, and re-open. I think it’s correct to say that my focus here is on the structure, not the content of experience.
This exercise is a shift; yes, noticing closing off, but rather than immediately relax/release/open up, allowing attention to investigate the content of what led to the closure in the first place. So a shift that highlights the content more than the structure.
This feels a little to me like the difference between Samādhi and Insight meditation… but that’s for another time.
With friendliness!
Dharma PhD 